A never-ending mother-daughter epiphany!

On Wednesday, Amrita Tripathi wrote about her experiences as a woman with a Single Income and No Kids. https://scroll.in/article/685923/Confessions-of-a-SINK:-single-income,-no-kids-(and-not-sure-I-want-any-yet)
Here’s her mother’s view of the situation:

Dear Daughter  – I could say Dearest Daughter here, but then as there are two of you plus your brother, my choice of words could raise eyebrows.

But my focus here is on you and your words on the biological clock ticking.

I need to say this. No, please do not feel guilty about the choices you have made till now. You have worked very hard to become who you are, especially after you left the “shelter” of your home for University. I am so proud of your achievements. It is not easy to be a young professional single woman in India. I still shudder at the odd timings you have had to keep, travelling though this manic city of Delhi – which I love – but it is unsafe and its people are unpredictable.

Yes, you are thirty-something and it has been said that women ought to have their first child by this age. Science is now a dear friend to us all and has changed all these notions. Remember the mid-forty-something first-time mother I introduced you to – the professional sociologist who placed her career motives before motherhood? She is enjoying being a mother at her age, as she has done all she aspired for first. I feel she is a mature and contented mother.

Young or older

Do not get me wrong. I know from experience how fragile I was as a young mother and wife – the never-ending chores, lack of sleep, my fear of domestic help being “mean”. There were horror stories even then of small children being given doses of sleeping tablets in their milk bottles, which is why I stayed home and did not take up my first job offer. No wonder I was cranky.

I earnestly hope that those are not the only memories you have of me in your childhood. I was 25 when you came into my life and your elder sister was two. Later, when your brother came along, I was a decade older, and the years had given me time to mature into a far more patient person. Unfair? Perhaps. Your younger brother also thinks I was cranky when he was growing up, an “older” parent, far too wise at all the parent-teacher meetings (so I stopped attending!). Not much fun, I suppose. Life!

Generational issues

You are a kind-hearted, sensitive person. This is just not your mother speaking. These are words many have said to me upon meeting you, listening and watching you on air, reviewing your interactions with your panellists. I know when the time comes and you are ready, you will hold on to the outstretched hand of your knight in shining armour – I can still recall your childhood stories in your not-so-cursive handwriting, with your wriggly sketches – and after getting rid of the “evil” guys, ride into the glorious sunset.

Being a mother does mean having to realign your life. I had to. Yes, there were many moments of regret for all that I could not be or achieve. That was My Life. Yours will be very different. I am confident you will know what to do and how to do it – that is why we have these generation issues. A never-ending mother-daughter epiphany!

When you are ready, and I am hoping it is sooner than later, you will be the most precious mother a child could have. We mothers always wish the best for our daughters.


Published by Jayshree Tripathi

Jayshree Tripathi lived in diverse cultures for over thirty years. Her late husband was a career diplomat in the Indian Civil Service. Jayshree received her Master of Arts Degree in English Literature from Delhi University (1978) and a Post Graduate Diploma in Human Rights Law (2001, Distance Education Programme) from the National Law School of India University, Bengaluru. She has been an educator and examiner in English Language and Literature for the International Baccalaureate Organization and their trained Consultant. Jayshree has worked in print media in the late ’70s and ’80s and calls herself an 'arranger of words', of narrative verse and short fiction. She continues in raising awareness about adult literacy in India and ‘women helping women’- #HelpHerWalkForward. Jayshree, as the eldest of five daughters, includes her maiden surname in her writing. On Twitter @JayMTrips. On LinkedIn https://in.linkedin.com/in/jayshreemtripathi

One thought on “A never-ending mother-daughter epiphany!

  1. With almost no knowledge on the topic being discussed… I still find an emotional connect… How chaste is the bond between a mother and daughter😌…
    Loved reading it😍
    Appreciate the theme of the blog 🎀Women empower generations🎀
    Stay blessed ☺🙏
    Have a good day! 💛😇

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.